here and now

There other day I sidestepped over the “highs and lows” and the truth is the highs have been HIGH and the lows have been LOW. Does that make sense? The shift is so apparent I feel like I need time acclimatize…physically and mentally. This weekend has proven it even more so. I woke up practically giddy on Saturday. I found that fairy tale balance of productive and relaxing. It was 9:30 and my to do list was wiped out and I was high on life at this point. I decided to reward myself with a Target run. Uh.ma.gersh. I love Target. I spent forever in the $1 section up front and took my time wandering the store like a true shopaholic. I managed to get so many holiday goodies and not go over budget; the smile was glued to my face. I went home, got comfy, lit candles, baked like a mad woman and just focused on me and it was the best day I’ve had in a really long time. Crazy how a weather shift, clearance items, and an organized day can do that to a person.

Then today struck. I had one of those mornings of utter frustration. Why wasn’t anything working out? I announced that I would not be broken and made my way to work to try and get a few projects completed. Then my husband stopped by the office…it was weird because he should be at working and I only come in on Mondays sporadically. He told me that he needs to go back to St. Louis for the next 3-4 weeks to work and needs to leave this weekend. So then I’ll be here in Colorado for almost a month alone. The truth: It’s doable but tough.

Random thoughts about this… Why? It’s not fair? I don’t want to be alone. I would love to go to St. Louis. So incredibly thankful he has an opportunity to go. It’s too long. Everything will be fine. and just for fun throw “why” in there a few dozen times.

Not a great post but that’s my heart right now and I would love it if you keep my in your thoughts while I’m trying to get my head around things.