sometimes it’s okay to be silent
do-over’s are make believe but second chances are real
dwelling and remembering are two very different acts
I find myself wandering the internet like one of those late night trips to Target when you don’t need a thing but manage to buy a cart full as you mosey down each isle and bask in the calm. Not sure what I’m looking for but I know I’ll find at best a distraction on the world wide web. I don’t follow too many blogs unless I know the person otherwise I find myself hypercritical of the author or (gasp!) my own blogging efforts. Truth be told I’m pretty noncommittal with the blogs of perfect strangers, some have information and others just comic relief. I often wonder what’s wrong with me when I see so many followers on a given blog and wonder what I’m missing… I came across a woman’s post the other day and I’m sure this is in poor blog etiquette but I had to repost. I’ve never visited her page before so I’m not sure what all it entails but I got a good laugh out of it and the ways people attempt to be comforting but sometimes these things are better left unspoken, please excuse the language as I didn’t edit her post.
I have been thinking about the crappy things that people have said to me in the past few weeks – here is a rundown of some of the gems:
1. Everything happens for a reason. – If you can’t tell me the god damn reason that this happened, get the hell out of my face.
2. Time heals all wounds. - Neosporin heals wounds. If you don’t do something to help the wound it gets infected.
3. Be grateful for what you have. I am grateful for what I have. I am still allowed to mourn my loss. I am still being a mother to my child and a wife to my husband. I am still being a sister to my brothers and a daughter to my mother.
4. At least you didn’t lose a real baby. Yes, I can only imagine the loss of a full term child, or even a child that you spent years with is much harder. The thought of anything happening to Jace has always been my nightmare. I am not comparing battle scars. If that is the case, there are so many people who have gone through worse. This is not a contest I would want to win.
5. You can always try again. Yes, we can. Thanks for that piece of helpful advice. Not.
6. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. No shit.
7. Just let it go. Seriously? Apparently you don’t know me as well as you think you do. Would I be the kind of person who should be a mother if losing my 4th pregnancy in a row did not make me a little sad?
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